So pissed of!

I  just hate my monthly menstruation! Grrr it's always a nightmare. I feel fat, ugly and don't even wanna see my daily weight :-( I nearly gained a whole kilogram. Well good news is that last time I had my menstruation I weighed around 58-59 kg so this time the situation looks much better.
After school my first stop was at CVS to get better mens pills as well as de-watering pills. I hope they are good. I heard from so many Pro-Ana-Bloggers as well as from all other people trying to lose weight that they often rely on fat-burning pills or any other chemical pills which are suppose to make you lose weight faster. I tried one of those products once, but I was not convinced. That was a couple of weeks ago. First the results were great but soon after that I gained more than I lost. So I stopped taking them and after a couple of days following my usual diet plans, my weight luckily dropped again. How weird is that?!?! Are there any pills which really work out?? Somehow I don't really trust them. It feels like eating even more than without them. Today my friends and I went for Greek food. Pita filled with meat and salad. I was a bit scared but finally ate Pita with Chicken. It was so yummy but right after that I had such a bad feeling. My father once said "Once on your lips, always on your hips" Of course it's such a stupid little phrase, supposed to be funny and I know it's not correct. You can always lose calories after that. But still I feel always guilty after eating. I just don't want do be picky in front of my friends. It makes me feel like a little egocentric person and I never would like to be that kind of person.
Tonight my younger sister and I wanna do a little sisters' night with a nice DVD. Tomorrow I really need to study for my exam. I have got such a bad feeling. Today I didn't do anything and I need at least a A to satisfy my parents. If my final grades are really good I will get tickets together with my friends for a Musical on Broadway :-) I really hope to achieve this goal!

xoxo Yuna